Dominus Bacterium
by S1R
Summary: I was sitting in Biology listening to an HHMI lecture. Did you know the human body is only 10% human cells and 90% bacteria. Imagine Naruto exploiting the bacteria in his life. Imagine him creating disease at the snap of a finger.
1. Bacteria are your friends!

A/N: I had an idea. Bear with me!

**1/9/10 Minor Revisions**

**1/10/10 Major Revisions **

**Thanks to a conversation with someone who came off as just a flamer, but actually had good points and a very different view of how fanfiction should work. Remember children, always keep a level head. **

Naruto knew he was different. He knew it wasn't because of his unnatural fondness for science and microbiology, but because of something he had no control over. He knew he was purposely isolated by the civilians every day of his life. Contrary to popular belief, Uzumaki Naruto was only three points shy of Nara Shikamaru on an IQ scale. On top of book smarts he was also gifted with shrewdness and deceptive skills that would make Danzo the war hawk green with envy. Naruto was a genius and he didn't miss much. The hateful civilians pushed him into learning about his burden on his seventh birthday because of his immense curiosity.

They always glared at him, neglected him. None were brave enough to refuse service, but their cold eyes and apathetic natures made Naruto wish they did. He only went into the stores that he absolutely could not live without, like the clothing store, the grocery store and the ninja equipment store. The one time he decided to eat at a restaurant was disastrous. The waitress AND the chef decided that steak tasted better with spit.

Sure, most of the shinobi were kind to him. They bought him all kinds of neat things, like that one scroll on seals the dog masked ANBU gave him for his fifth birthday. Naruto was unofficially a Seal Expert-in-training because of it. Unfortunately the life of a ninja was hard and they didn't have enough time to devote to Naruto. Most had their own families and friends. He was their hero, but not part of their world. Not yet, at least.

Naruto had failed his Genin Exam for the third time this day. He knew it was because of his chakra control. He was the second best in Taijutsu and Kenjutsu/Throwing Weapons, but Naruto was dead last in any class involving actual chakra usage. Due to his immense reserves, Naruto was simply unable to perform anything that was below a B rank. He just was not precise enough with his chakra because of its size. Whenever he would fail at a simple technique Naruto would silently curse the Kyuubi for giving him the double-edged blade known as immense reserves.

To keep from going crazy with anger at how unfair life was, he immersed himself in biology and medicine to keep happy and busy. The Sandaime had once given him a scroll on the past Kage's and Naruto had found the passage on the Nidaime very interesting. Senju Tobirama had been a hailed researcher in his day, being the one to discover the cure to a rare chakra eating bacteria. Since that day, Naruto had found himself infatuated with three of the four Hokages. Studying plants and microorganisms was much fun for Naruto and he had developed many a poison due to his experiments.

By law because he had failed for the third time, Naruto was now ineligible to become a shinobi unless by some stroke of luck the decision was overturned by day's end. Being a genius he had manipulated events to give him this stroke of luck. Using his dimwitted sensei's hatred towards him, Naruto convinced Mizuki to give him a second chance. It was quite simple, all Naruto had to do was act weak and defeated and drop a few choice words and phrases like "do anything" or "if only there was an extra test" and even "Hokage's scrolls…". Naruto was now on his way to retrieve the Forbidden Scroll.

Naruto hugged the wall as he calmed his breath. He gave a quick sidelong glance to his right before looking around the corner. Nothing dangerous caught his attention. Naruto darted through the hallway into the Sandaime's personal study. His steps were few and far in between, as he was taking long strides to minimize the noise. He never concentrated his center of gravity to his feet in case the floor boards were creaky.

"Sarutobi must be out tonight……" Naruto mused to himself. He thanked God that the Hokage was busy elsewhere; otherwise it would have been impossible to pull this mission off. Naruto grabbed the door frame and quickly flipped onto the ceiling and held himself there using the overhead pipes. Once Naruto was satisfied that the coast was clear he slid down the wall and tiptoed closer to the bookshelf that housed the Forbidden Scroll. Naruto plucked it out of its spot and turned around. He almost gasped when he came face to face with ten ANBU.

"……whatever your reason may be, we are forced to take you into custody Uzumaki-san." Tortoise said. He edged closer to Naruto and held out his hand for the scroll. The remaining nine ANBU drew their katana and surrounded Naruto. Naruto could only sigh in frustration.

"This better fucking work…. **Orioke no Jutsu!"** a sexy blond appeared where Naruto once was. She swung her hips in a very sensuous way and ran her fingers on Tortoise's leg.

"Hey big boy."

**WHOOSH SLAM**

All the ANBU present went flying into walls due to the resulting nosebleed. Tortoise fainted from over excitement.

"Don't underestimate me. I must become Genin if I am to rule Konoha." Naruto hopped out of the window and began sprinting to the meeting spot.

XXXX Later XXXX

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**? Why not?" wondered Naruto. After skimming through the whole scroll, this first jutsu seemed the most useful. A move that could create copies of the user that would transfer all knowledge to the original is infinitely versatile. He made the hand seals for the technique and called out its name.

The chakra Naruto was attempting to mold blew up in his face and destroyed all his clothes. He flew backwards caving in the little hut he was resting on. He cursed and tried to mold again. Once more it blew up. Naruto shut his eyes and concentrated on the movement of his chakra. He felt it go up out of his stomach into his arms, but once it reached his hands some red chakra would appear and make the gathered chakra go out of synch with Naruto.

Instead of wondering how it was that he could actually feel the Kyuubi's chakra for once, Naruto just began meditating on how he was going to stop it from interfering. He tried channeling chakra to his hands again to see if he could force the Kyuubi away. This time when the red chakra appeared, Naruto forced it to exit his body instead of screwing up his technique. To do so he pushed his regular chakra into the red chakra to overpower it. Without knowing it, Naruto had taken his first step into taming the Kyuubi.

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**" all around him, clones appeared. Naruto was surrounded by at least a thousand. He smiled wide and ordered them all to begin copying the Forbidden Scroll. The scroll was very special indeed. It contained every jutsu within the Fire Nation, the most top secret information about the clan's (besides what was purposefully hidden), Guide to Sealing: From Beginner to Master by Namikaze Minato and many more useful items like ancient swords and armour.

However there were two things that instantly caught Naruto's attention. Within the Forbidden Scroll were two bigger scrolls that had been sealed. One was an instruction guide called Dominus Bacterium and the other was a forgotten summoning contract from the early days of Konohagakure. Eagerly Naruto began reading the guide.

"_This scroll shall teach you how to make use of what can potentially be the greatest weapon in the shinobi world, right behind the extinct Rin'negan. This Kekkai Genkai will bring you much power, but the possibility of death is greater than any other one known to man… Take care young one._

_There is something that surrounds us all, something that no one can live without. It is not chakra. It is the smallest living organism, bacteria. Certain kinds of bacteria make vitamins for us that we cannot make ourselves. For example, __**Escherichia coli **__lives in our guts and makes Vitamin K….."_

XXXX Later XXXX

Naruto lay exhausted on the dirty and mossy floor of the forest. His skin had taken a slightly black hue. On his face was a very wide smile. Naruto had succeeded in synching himself with the Summoning Contract although it left him with as much energy as a rookie Genin. Normally he could outrun ANBU.

Shuriken flew past hitting trees and Mizuki came into view out of one of the many bushes. He walked arrogantly, without a guard up, which wouldn't have helped him anyway. He strolled up to Naruto and curb stomped a stick that was lying next to Naruto's head.

"What do we have here? Is it the demon brat with the Forbidden scroll? Oh my! This isn't good, not one bit. I should take advantage of this situation." Mizuki laughed coldly as he drew kunai and threw them at Naruto. Naruto rolled to the side and struggled to rise. Mizuki kicked him soundly in the ribs.

"Ah!" gasped Naruto as he spit blood. Damn steel toed boots.

"Feel my pain you devil!" roared Mizuki before Iruka cut him off with a kunai. The reliable sensei jumped in between the two before Mizuki could injure Naruto further. Iruka parried Mizuki away before jumping back to tend to Naruto.

"Naruto what in the world made you take the Forbidden Scroll? Mizuki, why are you attacking him?! Hokage-sama specifically ordered no harm to come to him." Iruka inquired with two kunai up. He was tensed, ready to pounce at once. Mizuki spat on the ground

"Why?! Because I told the monster to do it, so I could kill him AND become the most powerful person in the Fire Nation!" Mizuki manically yelled. Naruto calmly stood up with a grin on his face. Now no one would know he had concocted this brilliant plan himself. Iruka threw his kunai at the traitorous Chuunin and leapt into battle. Mizuki parried the kunai and drew his Demon Windmill Shuriken and threw it at Iruka.

Iruka was three seconds from dodging when he realized Naruto was injured and directly behind him. If he dodged, Naruto would almost certainly die. Iruka had a decision to make.

XXXX Flashback XXXX

_ "Iruka, I nominate you to becoming a teacher at the Shinobi Academy." Sarutobi said with his pipe in hand. Iruka's eyes swelled with tears. He had finally achieved one of his life's dreams._

_ "But why Hokage-sama? There are plenty shinobi who are stronger and smarter than me." Iruka wiped his eyes and smiled._

_ "Ah Iruka-kun. It's because I know that out of all the candidates, YOU are the only one willing to die to protect the future of Konoha."_

XXXX End XXXX

Iruka turned around, leaving himself open for attack and gave one last smile to Naruto.

"Sorry Naruto, looks like we won't be having any more ramen together. I just want you to know, you were like the little brother I never had."

"Don't worry Iruka-sensei. I'm not as defenseless as you think!" Naruto shouted as he hopped over Iruka and into the line of fire.

"**Fuuton: Daitoppa**" a blast of air from Naruto knocked the shuriken out of harm's way and sent Mizuki into a tree. Before Iruka could recover from shock and Mizuki could recover from the counterattack, Naruto coughed a black ball of goo on Mizuki's face.

"Hah! What is a little cough gon—" Mizuki proceeded to cough up blood. His face became very pale.

"Within the Forbidden Scroll I found something called Dominus Bacterium. Bacteria are very useful, you know. They are also very deadly. Thanks to the information within that and the Summoning Contract with all bacteria I have become—

XXXX Sarutobi, Koharu, Homura and Danzo XXXX

"He has become the Master of Bacteria. I never thought I would live to see this day…" Danzo said shell-shocked by the events that had transpired. Sarutobi looked incredulously at him.

"What exactly _has _happened?" Sarutobi demanded with a pound of his fist. Danzo sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"My master, Senju Tobiramu, and I were working on a very top secret project together. Not even the Shodaime knew about it. We were creating a Kekkai Genkai using a very unique strain of bacteria. The bacteria of this strain were completely dependent on chakra and had evolved to become chakra using organisms, much like Jiraiya's toads and Orochimaru's snakes had done millennia ago." Danzo spoke to shocked faces. No one had ever created a bloodline before. All attempts to do so resulted in dead or sterile test subjects. Koharu was about to object when Danzo continued.

"We noticed that even the greatest shinobi die from small things, like disease and bacteria. Not even Tsunade would be able to cure someone with heavily progressed Tuberculosis. I came up with the idea of creating a Kekkai Genkai that allowed the user to—

XXXX Naruto XXXX

"I have complete control over all forms of bacteria. There is nothing out of my reach when it comes to these microscopic organisms. I can create a famine in Iwa if I wanted to." Naruto neglected to mention that he had to be within three feet of the target for the bacteria to actually work as they would die without a host, he didn't have mastery over his new skill yet and he had only made a pact with mutated chakra dependent strains of bacteria.

"Are you enjoying my Mycobacterium Tuberculosis?"

XXXX Danzo XXXX

"The user must make a pact with the bacteria, like the Aburame do with their bugs. Naruto has created a pact, something that my master and I thought was impossible. We captured hundreds of enemy soldiers during the wars and the bacteria never accepted them. We thought that this was a lost cause… Looking back I realize we were naive and didn't realize our idea was still in its infancy…" Danzo gave a hearty laugh and smiled for the first time in many a year.

"Danzo, why did you keep this a secret from us?" Homura questioned. Danzo looked at the floor and sighed.

"My master died trying to create a more compatible version of the Kekkai Genkai. His experiment blew up so badly it completely disintegrated his body and the body of every failed experiment. Ever since then I decided not to mess with what we had made. I….I never thought someone would find the scrolls." Danzo blinked away watery eyes and yawned. Sarutobi gaped at the war hawk. Never before had he seen him cry. Not even when his son was killed in combat did Danzo shed a tear.

"Hokage-sama, I request permission to train young Uzumaki. I am the only one who knows the truth about his new Kekkai Genkai; therefore, I am the only one who can train him effectively" Danzo stared Sarutobi in the eye as he made his earnest request. There was no trickery or ulterior motive behind his words, which confused Sarutobi. Where was the conniving war hawk now?

XXXX Naruto XXXX

Mizuki was lying on the floor dead in a pool of his own blood. The mutant and accelerated Tuberculosis had killed him within minutes. Naruto chuckled and turned to see Iruka passed out cold on the ground. Too much excitement was never a good thing.

"Hah! This is only the beginning; watch out world, within my hands I hold your future…" Naruto grabbed the Forbidden Scroll, his live sensei and his dead sensei and leapt out of the clearing. He crashed a few seconds later in exhaustion.

"I think a few minutes rest would be a good idea. Kyuubi, give me some energy…"

XXXX Sarutobi XXXX

"…Permission granted to take Uzumaki Naruto as your apprentice."


	2. Black not orange!

A/N: Woot! Chapter 2 and remember to read my other story! Also I recommend reading Elementary by LightningHunter as my Naruto will be slightly modeled after his. Just the bit about his deductive abilities and intelligence, but not nearly as much as LightningHunter has done. And Please review more Damnit!

**1/9/10 Minor Revisions**

A/N END

Danzo manically chuckled as he entered the ROOT base. The Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi was his now.

His words had been true, but the tears were not. The tears that had convinced his greatest opponent to let him have the greatest weapon in the village were a ploy. Danzo was correct in that he was the only one who could train Naruto effectively, but Sarutobi would never have granted his request with that alone.

"Fu, prepare Room 23 on the second sub-basement for the arrival of our newest recruit." Danzo ordered without sparing a glance to his loyal subordinate. Fu disappeared as soon as Danzo was finished with his sentence. Danzo himself had some planning to do before Naruto came knocking at his front door.

XXXX Naruto XXXX

Naruto entered the Hokage Room, escorted by ANBU. That fact irked the child who had protected the village by eliminating a traitor. While it _was _true that he had subtly pushed Mizuki to commit the crime in the first place and Naruto _did _copy the scroll he still thought the ANBU should have treated him better.

Speaking of the scroll and the copy, Naruto had discretely created a **Kage Bunshin** with the sole purpose of hiding the copy under his bed, for the time being. A better safe spot was necessary, but Naruto wasn't in the position to find one just yet.

"Ah Naruto-kun, a pleasure as usual. I heard about your exploits. So tell me about them boy. How exactly did you manipulate Mizuki?" inquired the old Hokage. Naruto tensed when he saw that Sarutobi easily broke apart his ploy. The old man was clever, he would give him that. Not even a minute and he had already deduced the mastermind between the whole incident.

"Would you like the short answer or the long one?"

"The long answer, naturally. I didn't become The Professor by neglecting information."

"Fine, fine. Mizuki has always hated me because of the fox. He has actively tried to sabotage my education. Fortunately, I have other teachers, both direct and indirect. The point is, neither of us liked each other. When I failed the Genin Exam I knew the only chance I had to get a promotion was to create my own opportunity." Naruto slyly finished. He eyed Sarutobi, uncertain to see how he would take the admission. Sarutobi had the visage of a rock.

"Am I correct to deduce you put thoughts into his head. Thoughts of how strong one would be with the Forbidden Scroll?" Sarutobi took his pipe and began smoking.

"Yes."

"I am satisfied with your answer, but I know you wouldn't have let this rare chance go to waste. Where is your copy of the scroll?" Naruto paled in terror. He was caught. He schooled his emotions in time to formulate a response. Sarutobi watched with amusement. Intimidation had always been a hobby of his.

"Under my bed."

"Normally I wouldn't allow you to keep it. However the circumstances are… very unique. You are permitted to retain the instruction manual your father created, as it is yours by right, and the list of jutsus that I compiled in my youth."

"…What about the clan information and the ancient battle gear?" Naruto asked, elated that he was allowed to keep two most useful things he got from the scroll, behind Dominus Bacterium and the Summoning Contract. Sarutobi chuckled slightly at the fact Naruto wasn't surprised he had made the extensive list. It was common knowledge that he knew all of those jutsu, but his own ANBU refused to believe he spent a full year writing down the jutsu by himself.

"They have already been confiscated by my own **Kage Bunshin**. I left one and only one piece of armor behind, and I do hope you enjoy it as it belonged to the Nidaime. I thought it was only fitting since you had surpassed him."

"…elaborate." Naruto lost all of his childishness in that instant, for it was all replaced by the extreme seriousness he kept hidden within.

"You are the Master of Bacteria, I trust you know this. I doubt you know that what you discovered today was created by the Nidaime and a student of his. The point is his Kekkai Genkai was never successful until now. I love the shock on your face."

"Kekkai…Genkai? The Nidaime? What have I stumbled upon dear God?" Naruto sat down onto a chair too shocked to do anything else.

"It is quite simple to explain and once I'm done you will be meeting with the aforementioned student."

XXXX ROOT Base Later That Day XXXX

"Welcome to my humble lair, Namikaze." Danzo dryly commented as he looked over his apprentice. He saw nothing special about the boy. At least not yet, not until he was done with him.

"Danzo-sensei, I presume? Love the underground aspect to this place. What I love more is the fact that this seal was applied onto my tongue upon arrival." Naruto angrily replied. Danzo stared at him with his one natural eye.

"Boy, all of my men have that seal. Consider it a gift. Now give me a full list of your abilities." Danzo ordered. The idea of hiding some skills crossed his mind, but Naruto wisely decided against it. If his life was to be put into this man's hands than Naruto would have to trust him. Sarutobi trusted him after all.

"The first and foremost is my brilliance. The second is all of the perks granted to me because of the Kyuubi, including, but not limited to enormous chakra reserves, advanced regeneration, and immunity to Genjutsu. I can perform two of the three Academy techniques and I compensate for the third with **Kage Bunshin**. Speaking of that, I just learned the **Shunshin** thanks to my clones."

"Very good boy. It hasn't even been a day and you have mastered a highly advanced technique with another highly advanced technique." Danzo nodded his approval. He had been very wrong about not seeing anything special in this child. A large smirk formed on his face.

"I was the second best in the Academy in Taijutsu and Kenjutsu, but those are inaccurate assumptions of my power since I spent most of my time researching. Talking about my research… I trust none of your men attempted to touch my lab?" Danzo stopped smirked and processed the sentence. He was now positively smiling. So much talent, so little time.

"How did you know?"

"A background check on a future ally would be the logical thing to do, would it not Sensei? Besides I almost killed a fellow with a plain mask when I caught him under my bed, dangerously close to my… possessions." Naruto grinned devilishly and moved to sit in a chair adjacent to Danzo's desk.

"Brilliant and no they didn't lay one finger on your equipment."

"Good, as if they had I would have been forced to kill them to prevent my secrets from getting out."

"Secrets you will no doubt share with me?" the sentence was more of a clear demand than a small attempt at friendship.

"Only once you tell me why you pretend to be crippled when I can sense the chakra emitting from under the bandage covering your damaged eye." emphasis was added on the damaged by Naruto who was politically maneuvering himself to a safe position. As long as Danzo didn't question his work, he wouldn't tell Sarutobi about what he knew.

"I see how it is boy. Have you finished reading the guide to your new Kekkai Genkai?"

"Yes, except a few things seemed to be missing, but that would be why I'm here."

"Well, let's not waste anymore time. Training is the best way to learn."

XXXX Sarutobi XXXX

"I hope I did the right thing, Jiraiya-chan." Sarutobi sat slumped in his seat, puffing smoke from his pipe. Stress relief he called it.

"Well, look at it this way. There is no one else in the entire world that would be able to train Naruto fully apart from Danzo now. Sure I'll teach him a thing or two, but neither of us knows about his Kekkai Genkai. Neither of us can teach him to use it." Jiraiya melted out from the shadows and sat on the window sill. He had a faraway look on his face, like he was remembering another blond that was too powerful for his own good.

"But Jiraiya-chan you have not answered my question. Did I do the right thing?" Sarutobi was worried for Naruto's sake. Danzo may have been emotional during the meeting, but he was a hardcore war monger.

"Naruto had the potential to surpass his father, who was hailed as the best shinobi in a century, if he received my help. Now he has the potential to become equal to the Rikudo Sennin. It isn't every day someone gains the ability to demolish a nation by infecting it discreetly using bacteria." Jiraiya's eyes suddenly widened at the implications. He gasped in shock and turned around to his sensei who was equally scared.

"Surely Danzo won't twist the boy! If he molds him the right way, Konoha as we know it would cease to exist!" Jiraiya jumped to his feet, intent on saving the boy before it was too late.

"No, I know Naruto better than that. He would never bend to someone's will and he sincerely wants to become the Hokage. I hope…" Sarutobi began banging his head on the desk for potentially causing the greatest mistake since the Third Great Shinobi War. Jiraiya joined him for letting it happen.

XXXX Two Months Later XXXX

A boy dressed in complete black approached the Hokage Tower with his sensei. He had black baggy pants, a black mesh undershirt, black boots, a black headband, black arm guards, black plated gloves and a specially made black vest that could contain a mass amount of scrolls. His katana was across his back, under a unique Summoning Contract which was also slung across his back.

Naruto looked like the ideal shinobi wearing colors that didn't attract attention and weapons within reaching distance. He glanced at his sensei who had a stern and contemplative look on his face. Danzo was always scheming Naruto noticed.

"I hope the old man finally gives me a mission to save a princess." Naruto whined. Danzo looked at him with curiosity. The blond and cripple decided to take the scenic route and began to scale the monument. It was an ironic sight to witness, the greatest building within the greatest village being walked on by the container of the greatest enemy to that village.

"Why would you want that? Surely I have taught you the ninja world is not a bright and cheery place. There are no knights in shining armor." Naruto laughed at his sensei and jumped over a window. Danzo caught sight of the panicked expression on a custodian's face and quickly cast a Genjutsu on him.

"If I get into her good graces, I might be able to score funds for my various… research projects. I would rather not spend my life savings on something I could easily afford by getting a princess to fall in love with me." Naruto front flipped and landed onto the railing for the balcony of their destination.

"Ah. You have learnt well under me and Jiraiya-sama" Danzo chuckled at his apprentice's crude yet effective method. It was very shinobi-like in his eyes.

The duo had arrived to the Hokage Room. Sarutobi was sitting at his desk smoking on his pipe. Cherry smoke wafted out of the room when Naruto hastily opened a window. The Hokage put down the document he was currently looking at, a request by a merchant to open a store in Konoha, and motioned for the newcomers to sit.

"Hokage-sama, you summoned us?" Danzo said.

"Naruto will be going out on a mission anytime now." Sarutobi answered. Instantly Naruto lost the grin from his face and became completely serious. The emotion ebbed away into the dark recesses of his mind. Sarutobi flinched at this, but knew Naruto was completely heartless.

"To do what may I ask."

"Earlier today I sent Kakashi's team to escort a bridge builder by the name of Tazuna back to Wave. I suspected the mission was at least A-ranked by his paranoia and fear. When I mentioned the magnate who is said to operate their, Gato, he positively wet himself."

"What does this have anything to do with my student?" Danzo asked with a steely voice. The old man was taking too long for his tastes. Sarutobi released a bit of killer intent.

"Be patient Danzo _I _am the Hokage, or have you forgotten that?"

"…No." Danzo frowned heavily at being reprimanded in front of Naruto. Sarutobi would pay for making him look weak.

"I am to be his back up and we are waiting for a signal from Kakashi-san, no?" Naruto inquired. Sarutobi nodded gravely only to receive a look of utter confidence from Naruto.

"Danzo, do you object to this mission? I'm sure he is stronger than a Genin by now."

"I am in full agreement with Naruto's placement on this mission, though I request additional information on the country and target. And yes, he is much stronger than a Genin by now. He is easily a Tokubetsu Jounin in Assassination." Naruto smirked at the compliment his sensei gave him. Sarutobi nodded approvingly.

"I'll consider a promotion when I have time to think Naruto-kun if what your sensei says is true. Now that I think about it, how are your bacteria colonies doing?" in response Naruto opened the pouch over his heart and pulled out a small, but intricate scroll, one that the Namikaze had constructed himself. Naruto unsealed four tubes of bacteria and held them out for Sarutobi to gaze at.

"The first tube is my personal favorite, Mycobacterium Tuberculosis. The second caused quite a scare a few years back, Bacillus anthracis. The last two are strains of Staphylococcus__aureus that have been groomed to cause pneumonia and necrotizing fasciitis. The bacteria have deemed me worthy of four infections."

Before Sarutobi could comment on Naruto's achievement, a dog came into the room with a note tied to its back. Pakkun, Kakashi's favorite summon, crossed dimensions once the message was delivered. Sarutobi examined the message and tossed it to Naruto.

"You are too leave at once."

_Request for immediate backup. Defeated Demon Brothers. Mission is at least A-rank. Take usual route to Wave._

_Kakashi_

Naruto saluted and exited from the window. He zipped down the tower and once he had left the perimeter preventing **Shunshins **Naruto used the jutsu to appear at the East Gate. He saluted guards and put on his black ROOT mask before taking to the trees.

XXXX Kakashi XXXX

'I wonder when help will arrive. These brats… are too inexperienced for this kind of mission. Lovely.' Kakashi sourly thought while he watched Sakura argue with Ujimasa. He had told the stupid girl to leave him alone, because the boy came from a powerful noble family that held sway within the Daimyo's court. When she was fined because of her stupidity, it would be out of his hands.

"What are you idiots fighting over?" interrogated Sasuke. He pushed the two away from each other. Sasuke looked over to the bush that Ujimasa had been staring at. They were at the very edge of a clearing, eerily enough the thought of an ambush crossed his mind.

"HE ALMOST KILLED A RABBIT!" shrieked Sakura, her annoying voice piercing all present.

"Bitch! I thought I heard something. Besides you stupid fangirl, this rabbit is white in the summer. Obviously it was used for substitution pur-" Ujimasa was cut off by the swinging of a giant blade. Sasuke dropped to the floor, dragging Tazuna with him. Kakashi grabbed Sakura and Ujimasa before also dodging.

"Well, if it isn't Sharingan Kakashi. It's a fancy meeting you here. Hand over the old man and I promise not to kill your little students." a man with bandages covering his face and no shirt was standing on the sword. He blasted killer intent at the Genin. Sasuke thought about suicide for a second.

"I'll never let anything happen to my comrades." said Kakashi breaking the Genin out of their stupor of fear.

"So Momochi Zabuza, what do I owe the pleasure? Can I not just spare your life and we call it even?"

Zabuza responded by using his speed to get behind Tazuna and almost take off his head. One second the man was standing on his zanbatou and the next he was breathing death on the kids. Kakashi stopped him with his kunai and prevented mission failure.

'That was too fast! What kind of a monster is he?' wondered Sakura. Ujimasa couldn't talk from fear at how close to dying he had been.

"It looks like I'll have to get serious to avoid serious injury." Kakashi muttered before uncovering his eye. Sasuke gaped like he had seen a ghost.

"It is an honor to be showed the Sharingan so early on in the fight." Zabuza grinned before creating **Mizu Bunshin**. A Zabuza appeared next to Sakura and grinned widely. Sakura began to cry and closed her eyes, anticipating her death. She opened them to see Kakashi piercing a kunai through Zabuza's stomach.

Sasuke gulped and looked like he was about to cry at the sight of blood, but water poured out instead. Kakashi swung widely backwards, which heavily restricted his movement, only to be blocked by the kunai of another Zabuza. In his moment of haste, Kakashi was cleaved in two.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Sakura in terror. To Ujimasa's relief water shot out of this body too.

"To have copied my **Mizu Bunshin **after seeing it once…" remarked Zabuza who was lounging on a tree branch. His foot was dangling at his side, inviting attack.

"I am known to have stolen a thousand jutsu from my opponents and used them to kill their masters. What makes you think you are any different?" Kakashi asked as he phased through the tree and stabbed Zabuza through the head. Water pooled onto the branch, which sadly activated the exploding tag underneath the body. Kakashi used **Kawarimi **as fast as he could.

"According to the Bingo Book, you second favorite phrase is "Look underneath the underneath". So tell me, does that not apply in this situation?" Zabuza asked coldly. Kakashi frowned and blocked a downward swing by Zabuza's zanbatou with two kunai, an incredible feat. Unfortunately brute strength prevailed and Kakashi stumbled under the weight before he jumped away to avoid being cleaved.

"Damn Zabuza, I guess that blade isn't just for show…" Zabuza chuckled before flipping through the seals for a jutsu. Kakashi had mistakenly landed on water facing away from Zabuza so he couldn't counter it.

"**Suiton: Suirō"**

A great ball of water incase Kakashi and he could do nothing, but look on in horror. Zabuza calmly approached him and placed his hand on the sphere, to maintain its shape. Ujimasa had finally broken out of his stupor and threw a kunai at Zabuza, but it was easily deflected by his hand.

"Brat, you have never heard of the Bloody Mist have you?" something clicked within Ujimasa's mind and he backed away slowly.

"We… can't beat him. That man…. No… that demon is too strong." Ujimasa began pleading with Sasuke to run away from the fight.

"Leg it kids! He can't catch you if you run fast enough! Take Tazuna and leg it back to Konoha!" Kakashi yelled from the prison, wasting a precious few breaths of air. Zabuza and his students were separated by at least thirty yards. They just might be able to do it.

"You should listen to your sensei. I might just spare you if you give me the bridge builder." Sasuke tried to be valiant and charged only to receive a kunai in the shoulder.

"No Sasuke you are too weak!"

"Shut up Ujimasa-dobe! You know nothing of the Uchiha!"

"You tell him Sasuke-kun!" Zabuza, sickened by the shrill noise coming from her mouth, threw a kunai to silence her. The Genin watched in silent horror as the weapon sped through the air and they could do nothing to stop it, being too slow.

"No matter how much of a bitch you are, I can't let you die." said a figure in black. Appearing in the nick of time, Naruto analyzed the situation.

'Momochi Zabuza? Damn I could kill him, but saving Kakashi-san is my first priority and by the looks of it these Genin are worthless.' Naruto zigzagged forward on the battleground. With each step plans formed in his head, bouncing off each other at the speed of light. Zabuza watching him approach earnestly. Deciding on what to do, Naruto discreetly made a seal and two **Mizu Bunshin** formed behind the Demon's back. Once Naruto was in striking distance, he vanished in a cloud of smoke, obscuring Zabuza's vision.

"Have you forgotten ... that I am a genius at silent killing, taking down the enemy by just their sound?" Zabuza snidely questioned before taking a swing with his sword and killing one **Mizu Bunshin. **Unbeknownst to him, Naruto had succeeded in freeing Kakashi, which was the purpose behind his attack all along.

"Kakashi-san I am the reinforcements you requested though it is quite sad that you needed me." Naruto jabbed. Kakashi smiled with his eye.

"What may I call you, ROOT-san?" Kakashi struck back, deducing Naruto's true affiliation.

"Rabbit would be fine." Naruto responded, pleases by his pun. Zabuza finished up with the other clone and turned to them. He sneered and spun his sword widely. Naruto leapt forward to take the offensive. Zabuza changed direction mid swing and came centimeters to Naruto's face who was forced to front flip over the sword to survive. He kicked Zabuza's chest in retaliation.

Kakashi weaved in under Naruto and Zabuza's sword and threw a punch with his left fist to Zabuza's upper right thigh. A sound thud signaled Kakashi had struck true and Zabuza crumpled to the ground for a second when his weight could not be supported by his weakened leg.

Naruto took that opening and sent an axe kick Zabuza's way, knowing full well it would be blocked by the zanbatou. Zabuza twisted his body to be shielded underneath his sword, but because he was on the ground and his sword unusable at the moment, Kakashi went for another quick hit.

The veteran emerged from the ground behind Zabuza and threw three kunai at the man, each aimed for a vital point. Two were on course for either kidney and the last would sever his spinal cord if he did not move out of the way.

Zabuza was stuck in a mortal quandary. If he moved then the blond kid would attack him. If he didn't Kakashi's kunai would kill him. Zabuza grunted and put all of his strength into pulling up his blade, while his enemy was still on it. Zabuza launched a shocked Naruto at Kakashi and blocked the kunai with his repositioned zanbatou.

"Try harder Konoha-nin. Maybe you could use that sword of yours." Zabuza launched into his own offensive. He first coated his sword in water by sliding it through the lake. Then the crazed man charged the weaker enemy, Naruto. Naruto smiled and stood his ground. He planned to redirect Zabuza's swing into the ground before kicking at the man.

Zabuza was nearing Naruto and took a step with his right foot and swung downward. Naruto smirked and his hands gently gliding on the sword while pushing it harmlessly away. To his surprise, Zabuza spun on his stronger left leg, pulling his sword with him and into a whole new attack angle. The momentum from his body added to the power in the sword and Naruto quickly retreated to avoid death.

"Damn brat. You are actually skilled, but not as much as me. **Suiton: Suiryūdan" **two dragons formed out of the water nearby and crashed into each other. Apparently Kakashi wasn't as useless as he seemed to be. Naruto ran through the two dying animals and pounced on the faux-Demon. Zabuza, still tired from his attack couldn't dodge Naruto who was going exceptionally fast. Not as fast as Kakashi, but that would come with time.

Zabuza was thrown back by the force of Naruto's kunai imbedding itself within the flesh between his ribs. For good measure Naruto also broke his leg with a well placed kick.

"Shit, is this how I end?" Zabuza questioned the sky before senbon pierced his neck. Naruto was instantly on guard, but Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder to relax him.

"Thank you for taking care of him. I'll dispose of the body." said a hunter-nin from Kiri before disappearing.

"Let's hurry up and get to Tazuna's house…" Kakashi muttered before collapsing from exhaustion. Naruto knew Kakashi wasn't this weak of a ninja and only faking so he let his student's carry him.

"That was…fun." smiled the blond from underneath his mask. Sakura looked at him, scared that he thought a battle to the death was anywhere near enjoyable.


	3. Oi vey! THERE IS WATER EVERYWHERE!

A/N: I finally got time to work on this. Damn viola solo…..

I'm starting to get really pissed at Fanfiction in general. There are some themes that just make me want to shoot the author. The whole 'banishment because everyone hates Naruto' and the 'Naruto forgives everyone for child abuse' things really piss me off. No sane person would forgive someone for stabbing them.

And what kind of a person would just take being yelled at for failing to bring a traitor home? News flash if your Naruto is like this he most likely hates life and has probably tried suicide. You can't just bottle these things up and not expect some sort of consequence. At least if he fights back then he will have an outlet for his anger. By making him take it like a dead puppy I can only assume he is depressed and emo.

On a side note I really need to work on writing movement and actions. I'm fine with dialogue, but I really enjoy reading stories where the author describes the characters actual movement.

A/N END

I just read the latest manga chapter. Sakura…. You fucking whore…. I'm going to kill you off so badly…..

Kishimoto you asshole.

Okay I read the latest latest chap. Sakura is still fucking retarded for trying to kill Sasuke on her own since she is pretty weak, but at least she isn't a traitor.

XXXX Naruto XXXX

Naruto was bored.

Naruto, with his mask still on, gazed at Kakashi's students attempt to climb trees. It was quite sad and pathetic watching them fail, but right now he wasn't here to train the brats. Only save their lives. And they would definitely need saving as once he and Kakashi actually sat down and had a chance to think they realized Zabuza was still alive and the hunter-nin must have been his accomplice. Admittedly it didn't help Naruto that Tazuna's grandson Inari was killing their moral by promising death.

Stupid kid didn't yet realize that it wasn't physical power that won battles, but power of will. By scaring Sakura he had brought down the already useless girl. Now she would probably do nothing, but freeze up in battle.

From his position in the canopy Naruto could see all possible pathways to approach the team and by proxy Tazuna's house. Nothing was going to get to his clients unless they somehow became invisible or slipped past his line of sight, which would be near impossible since there were only two known enemies and Naruto had made fifty clones.

A pink blur zipped past his line of sight, furiously making its way to the ground. Sakura must have exhausted her tiny reserves and fallen. Naruto laughed.

Ujimasa ignored his annoying teammate who was screaming for help and continued up the tree. He was determined to get to the top before Sasuke and would let Sakura die to do it.

That wasn't an exaggeration. He truly did hate her. She always attacked him and made fun of him. As soon as he got into contact with his family she would be royally screwed.

Sasuke was determined to get to the top of the tree also, but he wasn't ignoring Sakura for that reason. He just didn't find her to be of any use. She wasn't worth his time.

"Sasukkkke-kun save me!" screamed Sakura as she plummeted towards Sasuke. The Uchiha just looked up and followed her falling body with disdainful eyes.

Kakashi jumped out of his perch on a low-lying tree to catch Sakura since no one else was going to do it. Somehow he was still using his crutch. Her eyes were closed. Kakashi checked Sakura's heart beat to make sure she didn't die from shock and was only unconscious.

A bird swooped down from out of the air and landed on Naruto's shoulder. He playfully wondered whether he should eat it or not.

Naruto was very bored.

So he decided to take a nap.

XXXX Zabuza and Haku XXXX

"Zabuza-sama, maybe we should back out of this. Gato pays us well, but you could have died back there." Haku scolded as he mended Zabuza's broken leg and sprained ribs. Zabuza looked at his, disinterested. He was busy formulating a battle strategy to take out the Konoha-nin the next time they met.

"I can't keep fixing you up every time they break a bone. We don't belong to a village or have access to a genuine medical center." Haku tightened the splint which caused Zabuza to wince in pain. He flicked Haku's forehead, leaving a mark.

"But you do know healing techniques. I made sure that you were taught them. I will be fine, you worry too much." Zabuza reassured his tool with a pat to the head. The little brat cared way too much. He never managed to teach Haku to let go of his humanity in battle and give it your all.

"Zabuza-sama, I never completed my training. You killed my instructor, remember?" Haku deadpanned.

"…Oh right. Then we have a problem. How about you go find me some herbs? My mother had this wonderful healing recipe." Zabuza pondered before pulling out a small list from inside his bandages (the ones he normally wore).

"You do know that something to heal cuts and scrapes won't really help us. At all." Haku said while looking over the list. He removed his faux ANBU mask and began changing into his casual clothes, the ones that made him look like a woman.

"I used to wrestle sharks. I think this recipe is strong enough for me." Zabuza laughed as Haku slipped out the door to go search for some herbs. Zabuza tried twisting to the side, but only managed to open his stitches. Blood began to leak from the bandages.

"Shit."

XXXX Haku XXXX

The boy cautiously strolled through the forest. Each step was taken only when he was completely sure that there were no traps. Each step was taken only with extreme certainty that no one was following him. It would not bode well for Gato to know where the medicinal herbs grew as he would just burn them all.

Haku stepped over a fallen tree branch that he had put there to signify he was only a few meters away from the small grove where the much needed herbs were. He whistled to himself before pausing mid-step. There was a stranger sleeping near his herbs.

"Shit."

Haku had a few options. He could kill the person and then hide the body. This would ensure the knowledge of his healing grove never got out. He could leave the person be and wait till they left on their own, but then Haku might never be able to use this place safely since its existence would then be known to the world. Or Haku could talk to the figure and persuade them to never come back.

Haku would try the last choice because was he wasn't ruthless enough for the first one and Zabuza needed the medicine now not in an hour from now. Damn it, Zabuza needed that medicine yesterday and some random boy wasn't going to stop him.

Haku crept closer to the figure, but spied a small flower next to his foot. Haku bent down to pick it up ignoring his company. He looked back up with a warm smile only for it to die brilliantly.

"Good morning Hunter-san." Naruto said while glaring at Haku through his mask. One hand was on his sword and the other was in a fist. He had positioned himself into imposingly over Haku, making it so that the sun was behind him and cast a menacing shadow.

"Good morning ANBU-san." Haku gulped and sighed. He really should have waited or at least gotten a better look at the sleeping person before dropping all guards. Haku bowed his head, knowing he wouldn't die just yet, but prayed he would manage to escape.

"Good night Hunter-san." Naruto pulled his fist back and brought it crashing down on Haku's head. He was out cold instantly with drool and blood pooling on the ground.

XXXX Naruto and Kakashi XXXX

Haku awoke with a jolt to vaguely see electricity swirling around Kakashi's hand. Haku looked like he had just stuck his finger into an electrical outlet and Kakashi laughed at his expense. Slowly his vision was coming back to him and Haku could make out the outlines of furniture.

He could feel his hands tied behind his back and could only wiggle his right index. His feet were similarly tied, but were out in front of him. With his back, Haku could feel that he had been sat up against a wall. Haku moved his tongue around to try and find his hidden senbon, but frowned when he realized that it had been confiscated.

'The ANBU must have taken me to his base for interrogation.' Haku deduced, although he still didn't know that Naruto wasn't actually an ANBU. Then again you couldn't really blame the kid since ROOT was unknown to anyone outside of Konoha, and even then only the Jounin and above knew, and they looked almost like regular ANBU.

Kakashi closed the blinds, blocking whatever sunlight that was filtering in and blinded Haku even more. His hands flashed through the usual security seals to prevent any of the Genin or civilians from listening in. He picked up and moved a chair so Kakashi could be comfortable during the interrogation.

A second shape moved into view. When it came close Haku could tell that is was the ANBU. Naruto grabbed Haku's eyelids and lifted them up to allow Haku to see Kakashi better for a second. The man held up Haku's poisoned senbon and pressed it lightly against Haku's carotid artery. Naruto let go of the eyelids, dampening Haku's sight once more.

"Damn. You probably have my antidote too. Damn, I can barely see anything…" Haku grumbled softly. His senses were really shot. He hadn't even noticed the ice in the water until now. Usually with his Kekkai Genkai any piece of ice within five meters could be controlled by him.

"I'll help your brats train or at least watch Tazuna. Good luck Kakashi-san." Naruto said before he **Shunshined **to the forest. Kakashi nodded to where his comrade had been standing and then turned to Haku with a smile.

"Welcome to hell."

XXXX Naruto and Sasuke and Ujimasa and Sakura XXXX

Sasuke was doing pull ups and a tree branch when Naruto jumped onto it causing him to lose his balance. The Uchiha's eyes went comically wide before he began to swing his arms in a futile effort to grab hold of something. Below him Sakura was lecturing Ujimasa. He had recently tripped and was nursing a cut.

"….and that is why you should always check your surroundings!" screeched Sakura. She had her hands on her hips and was huffing and puffing in a very obnoxious manner. Ujimasa just looked up and smiled. Sasuke crashed into Sakura a minute later.

The dust cloud that resulted from the accident cleared out to reveal Sasuke sitting one Sakura's chest while grabbing her thighs. Ujimasa immediately took a picture. Naruto gracefully slid down a tree trunk next to the three.

"How would you kids like to all learn a jutsu? It is really cool I promise!" Naruto goaded. He smirked under his mask at the horror this jutsu would inspire.

"Oh cool jutsu!" Ujimasa gleefully cried. He scrambled to get a front row seat for Naruto's lesson. With a look of vague interest on his face, Sasuke calmly rose from his seat on his teammate to also get a good view of the ANBU. Sakura was busy mentally processing the fact that Sasuke had touched her breasts and thighs, even by accident.

"Okay now watch closely. I will demonstrate this only once. I will show you the hand seals any time you ask, but I will perform it only once." the children nodded in agreement so Naruto proceeded. He slowly walked through two hand seals, first snake and then rat.

"**Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu" **

Leaves began to swirl all around. Sasuke looked up to try and find the source with Ujimasa quickly following him. Realization slowly dawned on Sakura as she started to cower in fear. The last time this jutsu was used on her was the worst day of her life.

The leaves stopped and Sasuke tried to catch one to understand the technique. And then he saw Itachi; he was stabbing his father.

"AHHHHHH!"

The leaves stopped and Sakura only cowered stronger. She knew that this was the worst part. She slowly turned around to see Sasuke smiling at her. She brightened up and ran to hug him. Then he morphed into Zabuza.

"AHHHHHHHH"

The leaves stopped and Ujimasa pondered out loud if that was all there was to it. And then he saw the assassin, the one hired by a rival of his father's to kill his mother when he was younger.

"NOOOOO!"

Ujimasa, instead of succumbing to the illusion, ran to the assassin with his kunai poised to strike.

"Now is my time! Now I will take revenge!" Ujimasa charged the illusion, skewering him soundly. The Genjutsu broke and Naruto looked slightly shocked at the child. He never expected one of the children to break it, least of all Ujimasa who was from a civilian family.

A panting Ujimasa dropped to the ground and glared at Naruto. A regretful Naruto propped Ujimasa up next to a year, forgetting to dispel the illusions on Sasuke and Sakura.

With a look of utter hatred, Ujimasa turned to Naruto and performed his new technique.

"**Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu" **

Naruto dropped on the floor, convulsed for a good five minutes and then broke out it. He promptly puked his guts. He was immune to Genjutsu, but he did owe it to Ujimasa to at least _act _like it affected him.

XXXX Kakashi and Haku XXXX

Haku was strapped to a table with several red boot marks on his bare ass. His back was a mess of whip marks. He had been completely blinded.

Kakashi was sitting on his head.

Farting

Everyone in the ANBU had learned to fear his 'Humiliation Torture'. A strong shinobi can stand up to physical torture for the good of his country. He can look psychological torture in the eye when he needs to.

A shinobi usually doesn't have the same defenses for repeated attacks at his dignity and pride. Someone that is being ridden like a horse is broken pretty fast in comparison to someone who is being stabbed because you get respect for being stabbed in the line of duty. Everyone laughs if they hear that you had been paddled.

Of course any one will break if you are sadistic enough, but Kakashi's method was much quicker and required no clean up.

Haku would break any second now. Kakashi had eaten beans that morning.

"Okay damn it! You win! You win! I'll tell you everything." Kakashi climbed off his hostage with a satisfied look on his face. Naruto walked into the room to see Kakashi rising from Haku's head. The image was forever burned into his mind, waiting for him to sleep so it could plague his nightmares.

"….bad time?" Naruto asked with wide eyes and his head tilted to the side, insinuating to Kakashi that that whole situation looked a whole lot more risqué with just a different angle, like it wasn't bad enough.

"Shut up you bastard child." Kakashi muttered. Naruto was annoyed at how true the man's words were.

"I'll take over Kakashi-san. Go check on your students, I tried teaching them a Genjutsu and two of them are still in it. The other broke out splendidly, but needs emotional support."

Naruto propped Haku up to a wall again and proceeded to milk the information on Gato out. Once Naruto was finished he exited the room leaving Haku all alone.

Within seconds Haku had dissolved into a piece of ice that the air coming in through the crack of the window pushed off the bed.

XXXX Zabuza XXXX

Haku finished tending his master's wounds. Zabuza was too troubled by the fact that Haku had been captured by the Konoha-nin to even talk. He had given away Gato's hideout, on purpose, and any day now Kakashi would attack.

The problem was getting the hell out of the cross fire.

Something they couldn't do without getting revenge on Gato and Kakashi.

What a dilemma.

In that instant Gato broke down the door to Zabuza's room effectively finding a solution for their problem. His two samurai guards arrogantly strode up to Zabuza and paused waiting for their master to direct them.

"You lost? How pathetic. Is this the best Kirigakure has to offer? How despicable. Finish them off." Gato ordered while snacking on a piece of calamari. His men began to unsheathe their blades.

Haku jumped in the middle of the two and took their swords before anyone could see.

And then he sliced off their heads.

"We quit, you pitiful fat boar. And if you send any of your men against my master and me, I can assure you it will be your head next, but not the top one." Haku calmly slid the swords back into the samurai's sheaths and pushed the corpses down on the frozen tyrant.

"You… will regret crossing me! I swear it!" Gato shouted as he struggled to get the bodies off of him. He pushed Waraji away using his foot and tripped over his hand when fleeing.

"Damn, now we have to go in to hiding again. Good job Haku." Zabuza sighed and tossed the blanket on to the floor and began to pack.

"…oops?"

XXXX Tazuna's House XXXX

Tazuna sat at the head of the table telling the Konoha shinobi stories of the old times when Wave was prosperous and when the people were happy. Tsunami softly smiled at her father's tales as she prepared sushi. Ujimasa visibly hung on to every word he said while Sasuke was half listening and Sakura was completely ignoring him, opting instead to ogle Sasuke.

Naruto sat to the side quietly eating his food while wondering about how Haku managed to escape both Kakashi and him. It was quite a blow to his ego. Danzo would not be happy when he learned of this failure.

Kakashi was sleeping. Torturing takes a lot out of a man.

Tazuna was laughing heartily after telling the kids about the time Kaiza had forgotten to put his pants back on after getting home from the sea when Inari slammed his hands on the table. He threw his dish on the floor and stomped on the squished rice.

"Inari!" yelled his mother. Tazuna quieted down and looked sadly at his grandson. He had never been the same after Kaiza had been murdered.

"Look at all of you! Thinking that you are heroes! There are no heroes! Gato is going to kill you!" Inari shouted. Naruto rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued eating his sushi. Sasuke stopped his brooding to look at Inari.

"You think you can come here and just act all high and mighty! You are going to die!" Tsunami put down her knife and apologized for her son's anger.

"Kid shut up. You are ruining my dinner." Sasuke put his chopsticks down and concentrated all of his energy into staring down Inari. Naruto looked on, mildly interested in the emo fight that was about to occur.

"Your dinner? You know nothing of my suffering!" Inari screeched. Tsunami tried to push her son out of the room to no avail. The brat fought her off with a kick to the shin and came running up to Sasuke.

"I…know nothing of suffering?" Sasuke asked quietly. Naruto sensed danger. He ignored it in favor of seeing the Uchiha blow up. Sakura was busy having an aneurysm from excitement. Tazuna was repeatedly face palming himself for the misfortune of having an angry little grandson.

"Yes!"

"I…. KNOW NOTHING OF SUFFERING?!" Sasuke screamed, lifting Inari by the neck and slammed him against a wall. Tsunami was too upset about the kick to do anything and Tazuna knew that Inari deserved this.

"Have you ever seen your family murdered before your eyes? I have and it was my brother who did it! Have you lived every day of your existence fantasizing about exacting revenge? I HAVE!" Sasuke dropped Inari on his ass and slowly calmed down before a vein on his forehead popped or he had a heart attack. Sasuke slowly backed out of the house once he realized how 'un cool' his explosion was.

"You have to excuse him, he was never mentally stable after his brother massacred his whole clan and then tortured his mind." Naruto said nonchalantly and reached for some more sushi. Sakura tripped on her feet while trying to follow Sasuke out the door. Inari ran crying to his room.

XXXX Sasuke XXXX

"What do they know? Stupid brats shouldn't talk about matters that they don't understand." Sasuke angrily muttered to himself as he wandered through the forest. At first he thought a bit of practice would ease his stress, but it became obvious with every step he had no chakra left.

Sasuke began to slow to a halt. He passed out onto the floor.

He had the bad luck of doing this right when Haku and Zabuza walked by.

"Hostage?"

"Hostage."

Haku smirked wide and proud as he slung a tied up and drugged Uchiha, although he didn't know that yet, on his shoulders.

"VENDETTA!"

"Shut it you will wake him up." Zabuza smacked Haku on the head and they both disappeared, leaving only rustling leaves in their wake.

Kakashi had been tracking Sasuke so he could talk to him, but arrived too late. He did, fortunately, see which way they went and was one of the best trackers out of all the former ANBU members.

"Damn." muttered Kakashi before rushing back to his base.

XXXX Tazuna's House XXXX

Naruto was pacing around the room, trying to think of a solution. He was only here to back up Kakashi's team, who was here on a mission to escort the bridge builder safely home. Gato would now be easily crushed, but Zabuza would get away by then. They needed to make a decision now.

"Here is the plan. I take my team and pursue Zabuza. Sasuke is my problem and the capture of the Sharingan is priority. You stay here and defend Wave." Kakashi decided.

Naruto wasn't so sure of the plan. He knew that defeating Gato would be child's play, but Kakashi wouldn't be able to beat both Zabuza and his apprentice alone. Without a further thought Naruto slipped out the back door and ran with a purpose. Maybe it was time to try out that trick he was working on.

Poisoning a water supply with anthrax infected animals.

Kakashi watched out of the corner of his eye Naruto exit and then turned to the remaining members of his squad

"Okay team, we have to go rescue Sasuke. Thank you for the food Tsunami-san, but without further ado, we must part ways." Kakashi bowed, picked up his Genin and also disappeared.

Naruto zipped past the foliage and jumped over deer and rabbits. He glanced up to see a bird's nest and changed direction. He scaled the tree in seconds, back flipped into a position where he was directly above the nest, grabbed a bird and resumed sprinting through the forest. Naruto quickly infected the creature with Bacillus anthracis.

He was closing in on Gato's base and from the sound of it the thugs were having a big dinner party. Perfect. Naruto softly landed on a tree limb in the dark and quieted his breathing to better conceal himself, although this wasn't really necessary since he was a comfortable distance away from the base. He sent chakra to his ears to try and hear where the biggest concentration of people was.

Most of them were centered near some sort of body of water, with faint noises coming from a sub-basement of the hideout. Naruto pulled back a handful of leaves to get a look at his target. Neon lights were emanating from a pool in the back and a few samurai were patrolling the base.

Naruto **Henged **himself into a floatation device and **Shunshined **into the pool. The other party members were too busy drinking and laughing to notice his arrival, regardless of the fact that everyone was in the pool. Naruto undid his **Henge **when no one was watching and expelled a few million particles of bacteria into the pool. He then casually climbed out as the pool turned red.

Naruto created **Kage Bunshin** to take out the guards and to explore the entirety of Gato's base, while he himself went to the sub-basement.

XXXX Zabuza and Haku XXXX

"You know, we really should just harvest his organs. I mean it isn't like he is going to use them." Zabuza suggested evilly. Haku paused for a second and considered the offer.

"How about we just brainwash him? It isn't that hard. We just have to show him a few Disney films doctored by Kiri meds to show subliminal messages that would turn his loyalties to our cause." Haku offered. Zabuza paused to consider that, grabbing a pen to presumably aid his thought process. He put marks over body parts that would pay well, like the eyes, kidneys, liver and heart.

Haku moved to stop his master from coloring all over Sasuke, but it was too late. The poor boy had a gigantic penis drawn next to his mouth.

"Damnit Zabuza, listen to me for once!" Haku grabbed Sasuke before Zabuza did anything else to their hostage. He gently placed him on the ground and turned to scold his master. Haku opened his mouth, but instead of unleashing a series of crude and cruel words he had to block a kunai thrown at his arm.

"…that was supposed to go to your head…" remarked Sakura.

The battle for Sasuke had started and the Konoha side looked beat, excluding Kakashi of course, but well….

A/N: I realize it's been forever since I updated this. I apologize. I had other things going on. I'll probably edit this, but for now enjoy.

At least I hope you enjoy it…


End file.
